File That Big League Shocker Under Rod's Major Gaffe

Sun Herald

Sunday February 17, 2008

Matthew Hall

Guess what? The make-it-up-as-we-go-along plan to spread Premier League love around the world originated in Melbourne. Who would have thought? Give us a wave Rampaging Rod Eddington (that's Sir Rod for those impressed by knights in shining armour), head of Victorian Major Events. Eddington, a News Corp director and former British Airways boss, pitched the concept to the Premier League last year.

"Melbourne's hand is up to host matches, and the same goes for Sydney," he said, forgetting to ask Football Federation Australia and the Asian Football Confederation if those cities were actually allowed to put their hands up for foreign incursions. (The answer? No). Undeterred by facts, as well as last weekend's Chelsea-Liverpool snoozefest, Premier League boss Richard Scudamore thinks colonisation remains a great idea. "We still have the support of the 20 clubs," he said, as 20 of Parrot's mates all agreed that crashing a party at Scudamore's home would be truly excellent as well.

Wurst time promised

REMEMBER Oehringen, the Socceroos 2006 World Cup HQ? The locals haven't forgotten us. On June 6, everyone's favourite German village will host a festival that includes a film about that summer and a tournament with Australia represented by a team coached by the irrepressible Rale Rasic. Oehringen's local council is also searching for an Oz "sister city." Come on Gosford, you know it makes sense!

Blat mishits

FIFA boss Sepp Blatter thinks the 2010 World Cup could be played on artificial pitches because (a) African grass is long and (b) summer heat dries out regular pitches. Blatter has previously suggested the goals should be enlarged so more goals might be scored, and women's football would be sexier with tighter shorts, and seems to have forgotten that (a) lawnmowers have been invented and (b) the next World Cup will be played during South Africa's winter.

Groundhog daze

SO, RONALDO has snapped the tendon in his right knee, almost a mirror of the injury that put him out for so long eight years ago. Bad news and nothing to mine for a joke, but here's the dirt. "The first words he uttered when he got to the changing room were, 'It's the same thing as last time,"' Milan official Leonardo Araujo reported. "How do you think he's feeling?" Well, probably not very well. Doctors said the 31-year-old's knee had been bothering him for a year. Place your bets on a comeback. Or not.

World according to...

REAL Madrid president Ramon Calderon, announcing that club icons Raul and Iker Casillas (pictured) had agreed new deals: "On this day, Iker, Raul and Real can say they love each other, they need each other, complement each other and will commit for life." It was Valentine's Day. We will let him off.

No goals, words aplenty

MARK BRESCIANO is counting the days until he leaves Palermo. Club prez Maurizio Zamparini was unimpressed with his team's 3-1 capitulation to Vince Grella's Torino last weekend: "I am going to give them a kick in the backside and see if I can get a reaction out of them," Zamparini said. "At the moment, this isn't a group of men. It is a team of little girls."

You've been Warnered

TAKE a shower, England! FIFA vice-president Jack Warner, controversial president of - wait for it - Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football, has backed England's bid for the 2018 World Cup. Warner, the centre of a 2006 World Cup ticket scandal, has flipped from previous comments that England would be unpopular hosts. "There are guys in England who have never seen a World Cup on English soil," he offered. Add his support to that of the well-connected Peter Hargitay (former "special adviser" to Sepp Blatter) and Marcus Siegler (former FIFA communications director), both now employed by England, and FFA will soon know that an Australia bid is not just about promoting its shiny stadiums.

© 2008 Sun Herald

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